What's in my name!

Today, I am Barack Obama

First and foremost, before I take over
the US presidency in January 2009,
I want to assure the whole world
that I am not Amabo (“I shall love”) spelt backwards.
My presidency ain’t gonna be about love:
either me loving you or even you loving me.
Love has nothing to do with it.
Not even love of my country.
For if love were allowed to enter the picture,
it would only mean millions out there
will be deprived of it.
No, sir, I ain’t about to spoil my party
by loving the partygoers to death,
as Bush has done in his shindig.

Here’s what I am going to do:
B – Bushwhack through the financial jungle
............ to bring back (not to justice)
............ the economic wizards (not criminals)
A – Activate plans to slash budget prudence
............ so as to save the great American business
R – Right old wrongs of the Bush administration
............ so that the Obama administration
............ can write new wrongs
A – Allow no foreign, in particular Islamic,
............ influence on “pure” American thought
C – Cut down all aid to poor countries –
............ we’re now too poor to do so
K – Keel China so that Taiwan will float freely

My rationale(s):
O – Out there, there ain’t no other country
............ that can lead the world
B – Beyond the crises, it’s still America’s day
A – Americana rules
M – More (of the same) cannot be (any) less (effective)
A – All the world’s a theatre, and all the nations
............. merely actors – in the great American play

Your cue:
H – for HUSH as in hush, hush
............. about my middle name – HUSSEIN.

Hush, hush, hush for we’re now entering:
“Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

Shakespeare may have been talking about
the seventh and final stage that a man enters
as he reaches old age,
but it could so befittingly describe,
I’m sad to add, the story of America itself.

My fellow Americans, you must start getting
used to the end of the rise and rise
and prepare ourselves for the fall and fall
of this hitherto god-blessed
but now god-forsaken land.
We will have to be the new British,
who having lost an empire managed
to preserve Britannia
in the most dignified of ways.
Let’s rise to the task
and show the world we can be good losers also.

God bless! America could still be the best!

From bling-bling to blind-blind

From bling-bling to blind-blind

Today, I am Sarkozy.

I’ve two days ago met with the Dalai Lama in defiance of the Chinese who have strongly objected to the meeting. Who the hell are they
to tell me, the champion of freedom for all colonized peoples of the world, especially the oppressed Tibetans, who I can see and what I
can do?

I told the Dalai that if Tibet should rise up in rebellion against
Chinese rule, I would pull out all French troops from other parts
of the world to support its cause. I’m very serious about protecting the wonderful Tibetan culture that is being systematically destroyed by the occupying Chinese. I’m no longer into the bling-bling,
which the world press has so far portrayed my presidency, my
new young beautiful trophy wife notwithstanding. The Chinese
shall not decimate Tibetan culture and language; just as French culture and language shall not be marginalized by the English-speaking world. Tibetan and French are blood brothers who will
fight together what we hold dear and sacred.

I am for total honesty. What I do from here on is what I say I’ll do.
So mark my every word. Even when I speak off the cuff and talk PR stuff. All straight talk, nothing less.

I don’t know what it is with the Chinese – are they stupid or what?
All they do is make public protestations about my support of
the Dalai Lama, and then let the noise reverberate a bit only
to let it die with nary an echo. They really are a morally currupt lot. They are so oblivious to their own people’s suffering that the only
way left for them to hang on to power is to divert the people’s attention to external bashings of France and other peace and
freedom loving nations. They may not realize it but we in the West are smart enough to see through their idiotic acts.

Let me teach them how to truly react to my championing of Tibet autonomy. Let me remind them (and the rest of the world) that France still has many colonies:
Caledonia French Colony 1853-Present.
Corsica French Territory 1768-Present.
Guadeloupe French Colony 1635-Present.
Guyana French Colony 1750-Present.
Kerguelen French Colony 1893-Present.
Martinique French Colony 1635-Present.
Tahiti French Colony 1880-Present.

The Chinese and all freedom fighters of the world should get together and take my country to task to explain why France has not granted independence to its colonies, most of which it had colonized by force. Invite all the (nominated) heads of these territories to a grand powwow to promise them every assistance to win back their sovereignty from France. That’s the way to go to get even with me.

France is no greater saint than any other big powers that needed to expand their national boundaries. I fully understand why China hangs on to Tibet. I’m only blind-blind to what happens to my own colonial backyard.

Bling-bling or blind-blind, I stand accused. Maybe I would become blur-blur in time. But my story will continue not to bore-bore you. C’est le train-train de tous les jour d’un president de la Republique Francaise. Vive le bling-bling! And long live the blind!